The NRL teams of Westeros


Rugby League the Musical.

Who knew such a concept even existed? I’m here to tell you that it does.

This week, Denis Carnahan will be sharing his creation Rugby League the Musical for four stellar nights at the Factory Theatre. It is on from the 27th to the 30th of April and for those of you attending on Saturday 30th April I’ll see you there.

The more I think about the concept of Rugby League the Musical, the more it makes sense to me though. Rugby league is the game that keeps on giving. It has its heroes. It has its villains. It has those bound for glory. It has those bound to be forgotten as time passes on. It has kindness. It has treachery. It has betrayal. It has controversy. It has misery. It has joy. It is absolutely the game that keeps on giving. With rugby league being my favourite sport, it is no real surprise then that one of my favourite shows is one where the plot shares many of the characteristics of rugby league.

Tomorrow, before my family gathers around the television to watch three games of rugby league, we will also gather round the television to welcome back Game of Thrones to my television screens.

I wrote a similar story last year, but thought it was time to do a refresh on the eve of the season premiere of Game of Thrones, Season 6. So which rugby league team would the various Game of Thrones characters support.

Cersei Lannister

What on earth will happen to Cersei Lannister this season? Now that her son Tommen has been bewitched by the very beautiful Margaery Tyrell and she has been forced to walk through the city naked, whilst being stoned and spat on for her sins, will she continue to descend into madness or will Queen Cersei rise up and once again take the role as acting ruler of King’s Landing.

There is only one possible team Queen Cersei could support in the NRL and that is the only club in the NRL with a female ruler – the Canterbury Bulldogs. While Cersei is not as competent as her counterpart, Raelene Castle (especially in her ability to hold power) – she could certainly teach her a thing or two about lying and manipulation.

White Walkers

The White Walkers have a lot in common with Gold Coast Titans fans. People have heard tales about them. We have heard that they exist… somewhere… but very few people have actually seen them with their own eyes.

Roose Bolton is also a Titans fan… because much like Greg Bird, he has no idea how to behave at a wedding.

Jon Snow

Jon Snow. Is he alive? Is he dead? This reminds me very much of waiting for the NRL to decide the fate of the Parramatta Eels following alleged breaches of the salary cap. Will the penalty be the end of the Eels season or will they be allowed to stay alive and make a play for finals football in September?

Daenerys Targaryen

This one is very obvious. While Daenerys Targaryen has many nicknames including Queen of Mereen, Breaker of Chains and Khaleesi, she is most well known as the Mother of Dragons. Naturally, this makes Daenerys a St George Illawarra Dragons supporter. This Queen would feel right at home with her Dragons brethren, particularly with Happy the Dragon parading around the field at half time. Think about it – if you say Drogon really quickly, it almost sounds like you are chanting ‘Dugan’.

Oberyn Martell

He was exciting. He was deathdifying. He leapt through the air and at the beginning of his battle with the Mountain, most of us thought he had the ability to win. This reminds me of the Wests Tigers season so far. It started off with plenty of razzle dazzle and exciting, attacking football but now, they are simply getting destroyed, week in week out.

Samwell Tarly 

Sam only started supporting NRL when he reached the Wall. He took his vows pretty seriously and decided when he took the black he would also start supporting the Penrith Panthers.

The Dothraki

These horsemen are obviously fans of the Brisbane Broncos.

Petyr Baelish

The Canberra Raiders have a head coach that has been at so many NRL clubs, I have almost lost count. It’s only natural that Petyr Baelish, a man who changes his allegiance faster than Tyrion downs a glass of wine, is drawn to Ricky Stuart – a character who has aligned himself with a whole series of clubs including the Roosters, the Sharks, the Eels and the Raiders. Another closet fan of the Raiders is Mance Rayder (for his namesake).

Truth be told, the Raiders have had a couple of Wildlings in their squad at times as well.

The Sworn Brothers of the Night’s Watch

The Nights Watch is known for taking in rejects – the dregs of society… the men that no one else wants. Through hard work and training, these rejects eventually tun into disciplined foot soldiers. Doesn’t this very much remind you of what the Melbourne Storm does?

Stannis Baratheon

Stannis is of course, a South Sydney Rabbitohs supporter. During season 5, Stannis burned his little girl alive because he thought that would help get him what he wanted (i.e. the Throne). Does this remind you of the South Sydney Rabbitohs in their plight to get Sam Burgess back to the Club. They were happy to sacrifice anyone they needed to, including Dylan Walker, to get what they wanted. Reek Poor old Reek – he feels a certain kinship with a bunch of supporters who also know what it feels like to be tortured. He supports the Newcastle Knights.

Ramsay Bolton

Has to be a Manly Sea Eagles supporter – because he knows what it feels like to be despised by the entirety of the Seven Kingdoms.


Ladies who League xxx